Are You Invisible?

Ellen was brought up to be invisible. She was taught to be very tuned into others’ feelings and needs, but to never have any of her own. Her family made it clear to her that her job was to give to them but to never expect anything in return. As a result, Ellen learned to be totally tuned out to her own feelings and needs. It was as if she, as a person, didn’t really exist, other than to be there for others.

When Ellen’s feelings and needs did surface, she would tell herself that they weren’t important, that she was strong and could handle not having her feelings cared for and or her needs recognized. She convinced herself that if she just cared enough about others, others would eventually care about her. It never happened.
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Anger and Your Health: How Your Outlook Influences Health and Your Ability to Control Anger

The situation: Jane and Anthony have differing ways of viewing the world. Jane is a pessimist (the glass is half-empty), while Anthony is an optimist (the glass is half-full). These outlooks influence how they experience similar situations.

Scene 1: Job loss. Jane is devastated, convincing herself that she is all washed up, she can never catch a break, it is useless for her to try to be successful, and she is never going to succeed at anything.

Anthony, however, has a healthier inner dialogue. He tells himself he may not have been good at that particular job, his skills and his company’s needs did not mesh and being fired was only a temporary setback in his career.

Scene 2: New jobs. Offered a new job, Jane, the pessimist, believes she was able to find a new job only because her industry is now really desperate for people and must have lowered their standards to hire her.

Anthony, however, feels he landed the new job because his talents were finally recognized and he will now be appreciated for what he can do.
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12 Reasons to Develop Exceptional People Skills

Why should you bother to spend your valuable time learning how to develop exceptional people skills?

Here’s why…

Look at the people who seem to have it all – a great job, an active social life and a happy family life. What do these people have in common?

They all have excellent communication skills.

To join the people at the top and to live a more fulfilling and enjoyable life there is no alternative but to become one of the few that have truly mastered advanced communication skills.

There are at least a dozen good reasons to learn the secrets of making great conversation.
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Afloat — on a sea of abundance

In the days of the mighty sailing ships, when brave souls voyaged into the unknown, dependent on the winds and their as-yet incomplete knowledge of geography and navigation, one of the greatest and most dangerous challenges was to traverse the area known as “the doldrums.”

Extending about 30 degrees on either side of the equator, the doldrums are subject to days, weeks, even months of no wind at all. After a long and difficult crossing from Europe to South America, lying becalmed in the doldrums — with no land in sight and with the ship’s supply of fresh water dwindling — was a terrible and life-threatening situation.

But history and legend offer us some fascinating insights into the power of our own thinking and belief. Back then no one had yet figured out how to determine longitude, although latitude was easily calculated. So if you could not see recognizable land, you could only know in what band of latitude you currently were. Exactly where you were in that ring around the earth was, at that time, unknowable.

And so it happened that at times a ship would fetch up off the coast of South America, out of sight of shore, fresh water supplies exhausted and death knocking at the door. Then, with what must have been the sweetest sound those sailors could ever have hoped for, the lookout would suddenly call out that a ship was approaching on the horizon.

Once the ship was within hailing distance, the cry went up: “Water! Give us water!”

And the reply would come back, “Lower your buckets over the side.”

You see, although the sailors didn’t know it, they were afloat in a virtual river of drinkable and life-sustaining water flowing from the mouth of the powerful Amazon River, which carries nearly 20 percent of all the earth’s runoff water into the sea with such force that the fresh (or brackish but safe) water flows as far as 100 miles out into the Atlantic.

The sailors, dying of thirst, only THOUGHT they were experiencing lack. The REALITY was that they were afloat in a literal sea of abundance. Exactly what they needed was within their reach the whole time, but the APPEARANCE of scarcity and their BELIEF in that appearance threatened to overpower them.

They could have died — and many certainly did — believing in lack while surrounded by abundance.
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Clutter Is Natural

Nature loves clutter. Just think of all the stuff that drops from trees, washes in on the tide, or is blown by the wind into your backyard. Birds molt, animals shed, snakes slither out of their skin, and they all just leave it lying there to rot into the earth. Follow any two-year-old around for a day and you’ll see that we’re not much better.

Living in clutter does not mean that you are a slob or an undisciplined failure. It means that you are human, and your origins are showing. Way, way back in the farthest branches of your family tree, your ancient ancestors lived a somewhat more hand-to-mouth existence than we do. Stocking up was a smart thing to do when the antelope might not roam your way again for a while, and surviving a cold winter depended on how big a stash of firewood and dried berries you had in the back of the cave.

The urge to acquire is instinctive and completely normal. But the kinds of circumstances that could lead primitive man to use up the provisions he’d stashed away are no longer much of a threat to us. I am a big fan of Costco, eBay, and 24-hour convenience stores, but we don’t really need them, and the effect on our closets and garages (not to mention our waistlines!) has been catastrophic.
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5 Super Effective Tips To Kill Depression

Being lonely is a normal part of our everyday lives. We get sad when we fail in our exams, when we’re rejected by the person we love, or when someone very close to us passes away. Depression, however, could be more fatal than just plain loneliness. It could render life-long consequences that could ruin your self-esteem, health, and well-being.

Here are some superb tips to conquer the melancholy mood and get the most bliss out of your daily activities.
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3 Methods for Clearing Mental Clutter

Many adults with ADD have a hard time slowing down their brains. Thoughts often come at whirlwind speed, and it can be hard to concentrate on the tasks at hand when so many other thoughts are floating around in the brain. I call this “mental clutter.”

Often times, mental clutter is made up of worries and bad feelings. (Very few people get overwhelmed by the amount of positive thoughts in their heads!) Regrets of the past and worries about the future can easily overshadow the present moment. Self-doubt can also take up a lot of space in the mind. When an excess of these types of thoughts take over in the brain, it can be stressful, upsetting, and sometimes even paralyzing.

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How to Set Detailed Goals

One of the first really important steps in coaching, or indeed in anything involving getting a result is setting a goal. Unfortunately, most of us don’t have a terribly good process for defining well-formed goals.

A well-formed goal is specific, positively stated, defines consequences, procedures for success testing, a time frame, an “environment check” (a process to double check that you really do want the goal), an identification of existing resources and additional resources needed, and a detailed plan.

Whew. How many of your goals tend to be like that? How many of them do you tend to get?

Here’s a detailed step-by-step process for defining a well-formed goal. This process uses several NLP techniques to get the desired result.

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