Becoming Irresistably Attractive

At*trac”tion, n. Webster’s Unabridged defines it as:

“An invisible power in a body by which it draws anything to itself; the power in nature acting mutually between bodies or ultimate particles, tending to draw them together, or to produce their cohesion or combination, and conversely resisting separation.”

There are a lot of examples of attraction in the natural world — from the simple physics of magnets and iron, chemical bonds, and gravity to the more complex behavior of plants growing towards the light and the uncanny worldwide popularity of David Hasselhoff.

It’s not surprising that there’s a very popular meme (“concept that spreads like
a virus”) around these days about there being some sort of universal “Law of
Attraction”. The idea resonates with most of us, as if it is a sort of “home
truth” that we all acknowledge, deep down.

Unfortunately, there appear to be more variations of the “Law of Attraction” than
there are IRS regulations.

Since we’re going to be talking about Attraction in a personal development sense
here, let’s differentiate it from the currently popular personal development
concept of “Manifestation”. We’ll draw the line at “manifestation” as being
the process of bringing something to you (a process involving something else)
while “attraction” is a process involving yourself — increasing those things
about you that tend to draw in what you want, while decreasing those elements
in your life that cause resistance to drawing in the things that you want.

In many ways, you can view attraction as “pre-manifesting”. The more attractive force you radiate in your life, the less difficult (or even necessary) it will become for you to manifest those things you want.


syn·chro·nic·i·ty, n.

“Coincidence of events that seem to be meaningfully related.”

Jung called it synchronicity, others might call it luck. Someone once defined luck as the point where preparation meets opportunity.

For our purposes, increasing attraction is a process that “increases the flow
of synchronicity”. It does this by reducing our “resistance” (blocks, delays,
ignorance, etc.) to acting on opportunities while strengthening our reserves
and making sure that we’re prepared to act on the opportunities we recognize.

As I mentioned earlier, there are a lot of “variations” of the “Law of Attraction” out
there. I’ve found one of the most comprehensive to be Thomas Leonard’s “28 Principles
of Attraction” that he set out in “The Portable Coach”. Leonard spent around
10 years defining and refining these principles, and they have been tested and
further refined by thousands of people as an incredibly powerful approach to
becoming more successful. Each of these principles acts both on decreasing resistance,
and increasing preparation.

Rather like Zen koans, a lot of the charm of Leonard’s principles is that many
of them are on the surface rather jarring — they tend to get your attention,
and the value is in the meaning or meanings that underlay them, which I will
explore a little more in upcoming articles. I’ve been working on many of them
in-depth with some of my coaching clients, and I will also be exploring some
of them in much more detail in an upcoming teleclass series.

Another great thing about the “28 Principles” approach is that you don’t need
to adopt all 28 before you see results. If you focus on the ones that resonate
most with you, the ones that really “ring the bell”, working on any one of these
principles will increase your attraction. Adopt any five of them into your life,
and you’ll find yourself becoming irresistibly attractive.

The 28 Principles:

  1. Become Incredibly Selfish.
    Without you, there is nothing, and attraction isn’t possible.
  2. Unhook Yourself From the Future.
    Attraction works in the present, not in the future.
  3. Overrespond to Every Event
    By over-responding instead of overreacting, you evolve, which is very attractive.
  4. Build a Superreserve In Every Area.
    Having enough is not nearly enough for you to be irresistibly attractive
  5. Add Value Just For The Joy Of It.
    When you add value because you enjoy it, people are naturally attracted to you.
  6. Affect Others Profoundly.
    The more you touch others, the more attractive you’ll become.
  7. Market Your Talents Shamelessly
    If you’re embarrassed about what you do well, you won’t be very attractive
  8. Become Irresistibly Attractive To Yourself
    How can you attract others if you don’t feel irresistibly attractive to yourself?
  9. Get a fulfilling life, not just an impressive lifestyle.
    A great life is attractive; a lifestyle is usually seductive.
  10. Deliver twice what you promise.
    When you consistently deliver more than was expected, new customers are drawn to you.
  11. Create a vacuum which pulls you forward.
    Being pulled forward is attractive; pushing forward is not.
  12. Eliminate Delay.
    Time is expensive and thus delay is very unattractive.
  13. Get Your Personal Needs Met, Once and For All.
    If you have unmet needs, you’ll attract others in the same position.
  14. Thrive On The Details.
    Subtleties, details and nuances are more attractive than the obvious.
  15. Tolerate Nothing.
    When you put up with something, it costs you. Costs are expensive and thus unattractive.
  16. Show Others How To Please You.
    Don’t make them guess.
  17. Endorse Your Worst Weakness.
    When you can accept and honor the worst part of yourself, you are more accepting of others.
  18. Sensitize Yourself.
    The more you feel, the more you’ll notice and respond to the many opportunities in the present.
  19. Perfect Your Environment.
    The attraction OS is a sophisticated system which requires a first-class environment.
  20. Develop More Character Than You Need.
    Integrity is not enough to become irresistibly attractive.
  21. See How Perfect The Present Really Is.
    Especially when it is clearly not.
  22. Become Unconditionally Constructive.
    High levels of respect are very attractive.
  23. Orient Exclusively Around Your Values.
    When you spend your days doing what fulfills you, you are attractive.
  24. Simplify Everything.
    Abandoning the non-essentials leaves more room for you to attract.
  25. Master Your Craft.
    Being the best at what you do is the easiest way to become successful.
  26. Recognize And Tell The Truth.
    The truth is the most attractive thing of all, but it requires skills and awareness.
  27. Have A Vision.
    When you can see what’s coming, you don’t need to create a future.
  28. Be More Human.
    When you are genuine, you are attractive.

One thought on “Becoming Irresistably Attractive

  1. Glad to find you so generously speaking of Thomas’ 28 Principles of Attraction. I found your site while searching to see if Thomas’ product is still available and I don’t find things easily on the new coachville site, so…

    thanks for sharing here!

    Coach — Gail Sussman Miller, Chicago

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